(1) Marriage Rites

In the 21st century, it is not popular and necessary to complete the whole procedure of "Three Letters and Six Etiquette", which has been considered necessary in ancient China. It has been largely simplified and only the important ones are kept today.

Sending Formal Gifts to Bride's Family
Fifteen to twenty days before the wedding day, formal gifts have to be sent to bride's family. It is the most important ceremony to the confirmation of a marriage.
Monetary gift: varied.
Cake: one load.
Dried seafood: combination of 4, 6 or 8 kinds of seafood packed in pairs and of varied quantity. "Fat Choy", an edible moss of long thin threads, must be included. Others include abalone, dried oyster, dried scallop, dried mushroom, sea slug, dried squid, dried shrimp, shark's fin, fish tripe and so on.
Livestock: 2 pairs of chicken (2 roasters and 2 hens), 3 to 5 catties of pock.
Fish: big fish, which means "sounding good".
Coconut: 2 pairs, which mean grandparent and grandchildren.
Wine: 4 bottles of Western or Chinese wine.
Dried fruit: Laichee, longan, walnut and peanut.
Fruit: It implies vigour and liveliness.
Tea and sesame: It symbolizes faithfulness.
Gift box: lotus, lily bulb, Japan cypress, betel-nut, sesame, red bean, green bean, date, dried walnut, dried longan, red strings, red packet money for confirmation and decoration, candle and a Chinese couplet.
It is important to note that all gifts must go in pairs.

Returning Present
When receiving presents from the groom's family, the bride's family usually returns half of the present to the groom's family. There should be tea, fruit, Japan cypress, lucky money, ube, ginger, guava and towels, all in pairs.

Presents to be given to the son-in-law include trousers, belt, purse (with lucky money inside), a pair of shoes, part of the money, Chinese pastry and cake, and one betel-nut.

For the sake of convenience, Hong Kong people usually replace the presents with lucky money. The lucky money used to replace pork is called "Pork Money" whereas money to replace cloth is called "Cloth Money".

It is important to note that the red packet should be marked with the kind of present they represent. However, the most important present should be brought in person. These include the "Dragon and Phoenix cake", Chinese cake (8 pieces), a pair of candles, a pair of Chinese couplet and fruit (one dozen) etc.

Of course, some choose to replace all of these by one red packet with "Gift money" marked on it.

Combing Hair
Combing hair is not a complicated ceremony and so many Hong Kong people still do it.

The night before the wedding, both the bride and the groom needs to find a "good fortune" woman and man (usually relatives of the new couple who have son, daughter, a nice marriage and living parents) to comb their hair in his/her home respectively. The groom needs to do this one hour before the bride does so.

Both the bride and the groom need to bath themselves with pomelo leaves and dress in brand new underwear and pajamas and sit by a window where they can look out to the moon before the event. Incense needs to be burnt. Moreover, lotus, dates and sweet dumplings are served in 6 or 9 in a bowl. There are also fruits and roasted pork and chicken prepared. Furthermore, both the groom and bride have to prepare ruler, mirror and scissors for the ceremony symbolizing good generation.

Their hair needs to be combed four times and each has a special meaning.
The first combing symbolizes: from beginning till the end.
The second combing symbolizes: harmony from now till old age.
The third combing symbolizes: sons and grandsons all over the place.
The fourth combing summaries: good wealth and a long-lasting marriage.

The whole action also symbolizes the adulthood of the couple and wishes them a happy marriage.

Picking up the Bride
In the early morning, families of the bride and groom are very busy. The bride is busying putting on make-up and dressing in traditional wedding gown at her home. She will be waiting for the groom to pick her up. The groom, his bestman and procession are busy decorating the car. The bride's head is no longer veiled under a red kerchief.

Now no bridal sedan picks up the bride. Firecrackers and music with gongs and drums will not be heard. But upon arrival at the bride's family, the groom will be blocked at the bride's door. In order to "enter the gate", the groom and his procession have to go through a series of quiz, like singing or even physical challenges, like doing push-up.

Actually, this door game originated from ancient time which implies that the bride is a lovely girl and her family and friends do not want to marry her away.

The groom will try to buy his way in by presenting lai see, token money wrapped in red envelops. The entire "bargain" process is joyous and good-natured. The lai see usually comes in $99 or $999, as the pronunciation of "nine" in Chinese is the same as "long and forever."

After the groom passes all the challenges, bai tang, the most important ritual in the wedding, will be held. It means the bride and the groom saluting Heaven and Earth, both parents, and each other. Today, the new couple will kneel, worship the ancestors and worship the Heaven and Earth. They also serve tea to their parents and relatives in sequence of seniority. Those who receive the tea usually give the bride gifts such as jewelry or lai see wrapped in red envelope. After being served with tea, the elder generation will present gold ornaments like gold dragon and phoenix bangles to the new couple.

When the bride finally goes out to ascend the car, a bridesmaid will hold a red umbrella over her head, meaning "raise the bark, spread the leaves." The red umbrella protects the bride from evil spirit. Hong Kong people still observe this custom. In the past, rice, red bean and green bean were scattered on her, but now dried flowers are used instead.

It is the end of the ritual and the newly-weds go to the banquet venue.

Wedding Banquet Proceedings
The wedding banquet is the climax of wedding and the busiest time for the newly-weds as well. The bride will change into different evening gowns at the banquet, take photos with relatives and friends, and greet them.

Hong Kong people will choose either Chinese restaurants or hotels to hold their wedding banquets. Before the banquet at night, much preparation has to be done. The best man, the bridesmaid and helpers will, according to their plans, supervise the decoration of the banquet hall, set up the reception desk, put up the seating plan, inspect the public address system, lay out souvenirs for guests and prepare the props and what-nots for the lucky draw and games.

On arrival, the guests will be asked to sign the fabric guest scroll. The hosts, best men and bridesmaids will greet the guests, the relatives and friends, and usher them to the mahjong tables or let them be seated. The relatives will take turns to take pictures with the newly-weds. Soon, an announcement will be made to begin the banquet.

The new couple will invite their friends to be the Master of Ceremonies. The emcee will announce the entrance of the bride and groom, who will follow the music and walk hand-in-hand into the banquet hall. With a sense of humour, the emcee will give a brief account of the bride and groom's background, how they met, their courtship, and offer them his blessing.

The bride and groom will then cut the cake. If it is a fresh cream cake, it will be shared among the guests. After the cake-cutting, the bride and groom will exchange a toast, and then toast the guests.

The bride and groom can take turns to deliver their address, or they can deliver their address together. Gratitude will be expressed toward their parents, or the friends who introduced them to each other. This is certainly a heart-stirring moment. If a video has been prepared beforehand, this will be shown at this time. Special relatives or friends may be invited to speak at this time.

For the food, a total of eight courses will then be served. The guests will enjoy the courses one by one. Sometimes, lucky draws may be arranged between courses.

After the shark's fin soup has been served, the bride will put on another evening gown. Then, the bride and groom will be escorted by an entourage of bridesmaids and best men to offer toasts at each table of relatives and friends. The more senior relatives or closer friends will be toasted first.

Towards the end of the feast, the emcee will signal the start of some games to tease the bride and groom. The emcee will explain the rules first. In order to avoid going over the edge with the teasing, thus spoiling the happy occasion, the bride and groom will make arrangements before the games for a few close friends to take part, and to set the bottom-line for how explicit things could go, so that everyone can have fun in these games.

Before the fried rice, noodles and dessert are served, the hosts and the newly-weds will position themselves by the exit to bid farewell to guests as they leave the hall. The bride will wear another evening gown for the farewell. The groom will stand closest to the door, with the bride next to him, then the groom's parents and the bride's parents. Each will shake hands with the guests and say goodbye.

Returning Home

As a tradition, three days after the wedding, the bride is expected to pay a formal visit to her family. This custom is called "(the bride's) returning home". This custom signifies the daughter's not forgetting her parental upbringing, the son-in-law's gratitude to his parents-in-law, and conjugal love between the newlyweds. It is still widely practiced in Hong Kong now.

(2) Registration

Marriage Registry
In Hong Kong, so long as the couple getting married are both over 16 years of age (according to the Gregorian calendar), they can register to be married at any Marriage Registry, or at any licensed religious venue, regardless of their nationality or religious belief.

The marriage notice will be displayed in public for a minimum of 15 clear days at the Marriage Registry and Marriage Registration & Records Office. If no objection is received during this period, the wedding ceremony can be held within 3 months' time.

Church Wedding
There are eight Marriage Registries in Hong Kong. Many young couples, especially Christians and Catholics favour a church wedding for its solemn surrounding and the holly wedding vow. They have to find a public church specially approved by the government.

The couple must make prior booking with the church one year or half-a-year before the intended wedding date, and pay the rental and deposit for using the venue. Then they should go to the Marriage Registry and inform the Registry of the name of the church, the address, and the names of the witnesses.

When a couple registers to be married at a Marriage Registry, the bride and the groom should arrive 15 minutes prior to the appointment time with the Marriage Registrar. They should bring two responsible adults to sign on their wedding certificate as witnesses. The couple can invite relatives and friends to witness their wedding. During the wedding, the couple shall exchange wedding rings. They and the witnesses will then sign on the marriage certificate.

People can also choose to have their wedding at temples. Now, even Disneyland is also a legitimate wedding venue.

It is not uncommon to find that people may combine the two styles together. First, they perform traditional Chinese rituals at home, for example, combing hair, tea ceremony and so on. Then after the bride has served tea to her in-laws and bowed to the ancestral tablets, proceed to the church to exchange wedding vows. After it, they can continue to have wedding banquet at Chinese restaurants and hotels at night.

Wedding Banquet Food

Chinese people are fond of eating. A feast has been indispensable in any celebrations since the ancient times. Like on New Year's Eve, the feast is rich in special foods and symbolism. Marriage is such an important matter that the Chinese-style wedding banquet is of course made as festive as possible. It can be a memorable part of the wedding. The newly-weds hope to take the chance to share their happiness with their relatives and friends. If the wedding banquet is held in hotels, cocktails can be served to the guests before the dinner. Most Chinese-style wedding banquets consist of eight courses, including suckling pig, hot dish, fish, chicken, abalone, shark's fin. They are followed by rice, noodles, sweet soup and deserts. A total of twelve dishes are served. Even number is auspicious.

As Chinese people are superstitious, the dishes are chosen with thought. They have auspicious names and carry symbolic meanings and bring good luck to the newly-weds.

Here is one example of menus at the wedding banquet:

1. Roasted Whole Suckling Pig
2. Fried Prawns and Taro with Sliced Apricot
3. Braised Vegetable Marrow Stuffed with Conpoy
4. Seasonal Greens with Selected Clams
5. Braised Shark's Fin Soup with Shredded Chicken and Bamboo Pith
6. Seasonal Vegetables and Mushrooms with Goose's Webs
7. Steamed Whole Live Garoupa
8. Deep Fried Crispy Chicken
9. Supreme Fried Rice
10. Stewed E-Fu Noodle with Mushrooms
11. Sweetened Red Bean Soup with Lotus Seeds and Lily Bulbs
12. Chinese Petit Four

(4) Others
Wedding Invitations

Both Chinese and Western styles in wedding invitations are used as this reflects traditional values while incorporating other trends.

In Hong Kong, most wedding invitations are issued in the name of the parents and they have Chinese style. The wedding invitations are usually folded red cards gilded with gold trimming. The most common words and motifs that appear on Chinese wedding invitations are Chinese character xi, meaning "double happiness". Dragons and phoenix are popular designs as they symbolize the balance of male and female power. Auspicious phrase or poems written in calligraphy style are wonderful additions to add a touch of festivity.

For Western invitations, common motifs are hearts, rings and roses. They tend to have a clean and simple design. Cartoon characters or other funny figures can be added to make wedding invitations look less rigid.

Hong Kong people would like to keep the invitations traditional but at the same time, make they interesting and amusing.

Bride's Gifts for the Groom
Nowadays, the bride will return part of the gifts to the groom. They will either arrive a couple of days or at least a day before the wedding. Usually the gifts usually consist of valuable jewelry and something symbolizing good fortune as follows.

Scissors: everlasting love
Spittoon: bringing many children and grandchildren
Ruler: property
Cane sugar: sweetness
Purse and belt: wealth
Vase: prosperity
Bronze basin and shoes: eternal love
Bed linens, pillows, two pairs of chopsticks tied together with red string, bowls: adequate living and food
Lotus, dragon eye's fruit, red packet money: good living and food

Some obsolete gifts, like 72 sets of clothing, are now substituted by red packet money.

Wedding dress/ Attire

The traditional Chinese wedding dress in northern China usually is one-piece frock named Qi Pao, embroidered with elaborate gold and silver designs. Brides from southern China usually wear two-piece dress named qun gua or Kwa, also elaborately adorned with golden phoenix and dragon.

In the old days, a piece of red veil was part of the bride's costume to cover her face during the wedding ceremony. Newly-weds would see each other's face for the first time on their wedding night. This ritual is already lost.

Nowadays, the bride still wears qun gua with red dragon and phoenix design at the wedding day. The dragon and phoenix design symbolizes the balance of male and female power. At the banquet wedding, she will change into different evening gowns. At registration, either at Marriage Registry or church, the bride wears western white wedding dress. Although white is considered unlucky in Chinese tradition, it has long been accepted in Hong Kong. In addition, new styles of wedding dress come quarterly just like fashion.

Wedding Banquet Seating Arrangement

The seating arrangement at the wedding banquet is also an important matter as it shows seniority on which Chinese people put much emphasis. The newly-weds need to put some thought on it.

There will be one head table for the bride, the bridegroom and their next of kin. The bride should be seated on the right side of the groom. The bridesmaid should be seated next to the bride and the best man next to the groom. The elder members of the family or close relatives (including the bride's/groom's parents, siblings, their grandparents and their siblings) will be seated at the head table or at prominent places.

The secondary head table(s) are arranged for other elders in the family and relatives, such as uncles on the paternal or maternal side, peers or cousins.

Based on the position of the head tables, the tables for the guests of the bride should be on the right side of the banquet hall, while those for the groom should be on the left.

The tables are numbered and a specific number of tables for each category of guests is assigned. The seating plan will be posted at the reception area so that guests can find their way to their seats.